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Pictures
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Spank-O-Matic II
Spank-O-Matic II
Spank-O-Matic II
Spank-O-Matic II
Spank-O-Matic II, Hand Control
Spank-O-Matic II, Disassembled
Senco Compressor
RS Claims
Manual Excerpt
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Enlighten: Find Truth Through the Competition's Lies
In the Compare section, I said the following about what you'll find on the Robospanker site regarding the SOM II spanking machine:
[Y]ou will read a mix of accurate (if overblown) and ridiculous attacks on the concept of pneumatics as a spanking power source. Added noise, cost, setup, and maintenance. These are all true, to one degree or another... a compressor is not free, does make at least some noise, requires that it be plugged in to set it up, and should have the tank drained periodically. Bacteria and oil inhalation health risks, utterly unsupported in literature including Robospanker's own references. Misleading mischaracterizations about the contents of an air compressor manual.
On this page, I'd like to document and expand on the paragraph above. I'll keep it short and sweet, with a focus on the Robosapnker lies and misleading statements about air power that, taken together, I characterize as an underhanded attack. Robospanker tends to quietly remove attacks they've decided aren't getting any traction, so the exact statement listed below -- and occasionally even an entire train of thought -- may not be on their site at this time. Some quotes contain multiple items that may have different responses... in those cases, I will excerpt the statement to just those points relevant to the response, indicating the removal of words with [...].
| Robospanker Claim | Response |
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"[I]f you like a spanking session that last more than 5 minutes, there is a good chance that air compressor controlled units will loose too much pressure to maintain the same spank intensity"
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Assuming you've plugged in the air compressor, all play below the "turn on" pressure -- 95 PSI with the Senco PC1010, a far harder stroke than the Robospanker on high -- will have the same intensity for as long as you'd like to play. Smaller compressors like the PC1010 will not keep up with the air demand of very rapid stroking at pressures about this level, but those rated for a1 CFM or higher will maintain the "same spank intensity" for any length of time.
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"[I]f you like a spanking session that last more than 5 minutes, there is a good chance that air compressor controlled units will loose too much pressure to maintain the same spank [...] speed"
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The spanking speed of the SOM II is controlled by a microcomputer. Computers don't have anything to do with air pressure, and do not slow down after any period of time.
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"Air compressor manufacturers warns that the exhaust from air compressor can contain harmful vapors, solid particles"
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This section of the manual is specific to directly breathing the compressor exhaust. With the SOM II, we are not breathing from the air hose or from a bottle pressurized from the air hose. The "harmful vapors, solid particles" are not created in the compressor... the only such things coming out of the compressor are those already in the air being compressed.
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"Air compressor manufacturers warns that the exhaust from air compressor can contain [...] allergens, oil mist."
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No they don't. Neither term ("allergens" or "oil mist") exists in the Senco PC1010 manual, Senco does not warn of either allergens or oil mist. None of the other consumer air compressor manuals I have reviewed do either.
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"They [compressor manufacturers] stress that air compressors should only be used in well ventilated areas."
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Again, no they don't. They do definitely stress that you should only pneumatically spray harmful and poisonous materials like paint, insectisides, and weed killer in a well ventilated area. Luckily, we're not killing insects or weeds... we are spanking asses. You will not find a single consumer air compressor manual that stresses the product should only be operated in a well ventilated area. They'll all say you should only spray poisonous stuff in a well ventilated area.
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"[Y]ou should be aware of the inherent [LINK]health risk of air compressors.[LINK]."
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The linked page from Parker Domnick Hunter industrial air treatment sales has absolutely no relevance to pneumatic spanking and describes no risks related to consumer compressor usage.
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"Many experts recommend the use of [LINK]safety glasses, and hearing protection[LINK] when working around air compressors."
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The linked page about nuclear power plants has absolutely no relevance to pneumatic spanking and describes no risks related to consumer compressor usage. The Senco PC1010, as one example of an excellent air compressor for the SOM II, is rated at 69 decibels. For comparison, that's about the same as a typewriter or very quiet vacuum. A typical vacuum is rated about 80 decibels -- approximately 10 times louder than 69 decibels -- yet you do not wear hearing protection when vacuuming.
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"They even warn of risk of fire, or explosion if vents are blocked, or if the tank isn`t drained on a regular basis." [note: poorly written, should say risk of fire if vents are blocked, risk of explosion if tank is not drained regularly]
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A large number of electronics in your home -- toaster, vacuum, blender, TV, aromatherapy vaporizer, vibrator -- come with a functionally identical warning not to block ventilation of the device. You have not yet caught yourself on fire with your blender or TV, have you? Draining a compressor's tank is a 10 second task, and aside from a 2002 recall by Ingersol-Rand due to a manufacturing flaw in a couple of units, there isn't a single recorded example of a consumer air compressor's tank bursting.
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Robospanker's Magic Testimonials
I first noticed the phenomenon of Magic Testimonials in a Robospanker response to my observation that their machine was not suited for use by a person who simply wants to lie (and this time I mean resting in a horizontal position!) on a bed. I originally made this statement about their giant older design, but it holds true for their current model. If you look at the picture on their site next to the heading "What about lying on the floor?", you'll see why I make this claim... to use their machine lying on a bed, which this section claims along with the floor, you have to put the bulky machine on the bed with you... and have an ass exactly 10" tall! While that might be possible as long as you have a large, wide bed, it's definitely not desirable. Their response included this picture and text section, along with the following addition to the Robospanker's "True Testimonals" page:
Of course, it seems remarkably handy that just as you're defending against an accurate observation that your machine design doesn't nicely accomodate spanking someone lying on a bed, in comes a testimonial proclaiming it's superb at exactly that! Such luck does not strike often... it seems a once in a lifetime coincidence, and almost like magic. Fast forward to Robospanker's response to my videos, especially the power comparison that clearly shows the SOM II is much more powerful than the DD Machinery product. They've called those videos fake. And what do you know? They also add a new "True Testimonial":
This is simply amazing! Just when there's video evidence proving your machine is weak, a customer writes you. Not only does this customer know about the SOM II, he has tried one... and refers to it just like the Robospanker folks do, as this other nameless machine powered by an air compressor! This amazing customer says not only does the Robospanker machine hit as hard, it might even hit harder! He's also beating the "air compressors are loud" drum just like the Robospanker folks like to do... he sure is glad that he bought the Robospanker. Why, this testimonial could have been written by the same folks who authored the Robospanker website, right down to "a friend of mines" and "boy was I presently surprised"! THIS is truly a Magic Testimonial!
If you read a testimonial on this site, it's the text that someone who bought and used my product wrote to me. They don't appear by magic saying just what I most need them to, and I don't make them up myself. You can decide if the same can be said of Robospanker's Magic Testimonials. Consider Robospanker's over-the-top denial, all the while admiting that they "change the language some." Are these written by real, other people? Maybe. But in my experience testimonials do not appear by magic saying exactly what you need them to, exactly when you'd like to hear it, and it's not a testimonial if you change what an author says.
And Finally, One Just for Fun
Robospanker takes the time to talk about how much space I dedicate to comparing my machine to theirs. To me, this seems like an obvious thing to do in a market with only two competing options. I do it above-board and honestly. I use their machine name and link to their site when appropriate, instead of hiding behind phrases like "spanking machines controlled by an air compressor" and "manufacturers of pneumatic spanking machines." I compare my machine to theirs by noting, for example, that the Spank-O-Matic offers infinite control over spanking power right from the hand control, while Robospanker has only three power settings and you have to dig around inside the machine to switch between them. They completely ignore any feature comparison, choosing instead to concoct a deceitful attach on pneumatic power.
Just for fun, trip on over to the Robospanker site and find anything that looks like a feature-to-feature comparison between our two products. Contrast what you find there with the Compare: SOM II vs. the Competition page on this site. Who is hiding from the competition, and why?
Learn: SOM II
See: Video of the SOM II
Control: Take Control of the SOM II
Hear: Testimonials for the SOM II
Compare: SOM II vs. the Competition
Understand: Pneumatics for Spanking Power
Enlighten: Find Truth Through the Competition's Lies
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