1 - Striking Power. Robospanker has 3 power levels, the SOM II is infinitely adjustable. The SOM II can hit with both less and more power than Robospanker, and every point in between.

2 - Setup Flexibility. The SOM II adjusts infinitely in height and striking angle. Robospanker adjusts to an unknown finite number of discrete heights and angles. The SOM II will adjust both lower and taller than the Robospanker.

3 - Striking Modes. The Robospanker has a single mode of operation, periodic. When operating, it strikes every so often, and that spacing is the same each time absent user input (changing the speed). The SOM II offers many spanking modes, including manual, periodic, and random modes.

4 - User Controls. The SOM II is controlled through either a PC or a high quality comprehensivecorded hand control. In either case, you have full control over power, speed, striking modes, manual operation, and so forth. The Robospanker has a small corded box that gives you start/stop and speed control.

5 - Special Features. The SOM II with SOM2PC control system is repleat with special features not available with either the SOM II Hand Control or the Robospanker, including delay until start, auto-off after a set number of strokes, use over the Internet, sessions, and record/playback. The Robospanker offers an optional off timer limited to 15 minutes.

So the SOM II has driven the folks at DD Machinery to improve their machine... no surprise there. The new RS is basically a more compact version of the old RS, with a new stand that can adjust up and down and angle the head, and an included hand control that adjusts speed. They claim higher spanking power, which may or may not be true. All of these changes attempt to address ways the RS is inferior when compared to the SOM II. How did they do?

The adjustable stand on the new RS has "one single telescoping leg that allows you to adjust the paddle to strike a target that is 36" high, to as low as the floor itself." This is a misleading statement. If the tallest adjustment has the paddle 36" high, and the telescoping portion is 28" long (add in the head height of 8" and horizontal leg height of 1" for a 36" height) with just 2" of overlap between the telescoping pieces, then the leg portion can collapse to minimum 15" and no further. Therefore, the lowest setting has the paddle about 23" off the floor. Not at the floor. What about the picture showing the paddle 10" off the floor? Well, that's also misleading, as the head has been removed from its normal place and set on the floor, possibly bolted to the lower leg upright. This isn't a standard adjustment... it's a work-around because the stand doesn't adjust that low. Can you adjust it up an inch or two? That's not clear. If so, you still have no angle adjustment when the head is mounted to the bottom segment of the leg. Either way, it's definitely not "as low as the floor itself." Check out the latest picture on the Robospanker site, featuring a model from Thespankingblog on some pillows and replicated at the bottom of the left pane here. This is the lowest setting in the normal position. Even with the model propped up on two fat pillows, the machine STILL isn't low enough to strike both buttocks.. only the one farthest from the machine will be struck.

In addition to these limitations, the Robospanker telescoping leg has discrete adjustments... you can't adjust it to any height, but to every 1" or whatever. With the new RS stand, you remove a bolt, adjust to the new height, and replace the bolt. While the bolt is out, you have the pleasure of holding up the weight of the large head unit while trying to align holes so you can slide the bolt back in. With the SOM II, you loosen two convenient hand knobs, slide the carriage to exactly where you want it, and tighten the knobs. FULLY adjustable, and with ease.

In the category of height adjustments, what about on the bed? They claim so. The tallest setting will put the paddle about 30" off the floor. I hope you have a low bed. Maybe you could put this new RS on the bed with you, but of course the paddle is too high for that. I stand by this assessment, and cite as evidence the pictures at Thespankingblog, to whom I presume RS discounted a machine since TSB is pimping RS. Have a look at TSB's bed, first picture in the "It is ALIVE" article. The RS might be able to go up another 2 inches, based on the third picture of the article, then you angle the head which brings the paddle down by 6-8". Put a 10" high ass on that bed and it's just not reaching. I'll keep claiming this, despite the "magical testimonial" about how great the new version is on a bed that appeared shortly after I first wrote on the topic.

What about angling? There's a picture of the new RS angled, and it claims a "multitude" of different angles. Again, the angle adjustability of the new RS is in discrete increments. There's a brace that holds the head at the set angle, and it ties in to the holes in the telescoping leg. Each hole gives a specific angle to the head. I estimate perhaps 8 angles from horizontal to vertical-down, plus maybe 4 upwards. In contrast, the SOM II head adjusts infinitely on both horizontal and vertical planes using a structural pipe fitting. Again, FULLY adjustable, any angle, any position.

Of course, the single biggest advantage of the SOM II over the Robospanker (and it's a biggie) is the ability to set the machines to different striking power. The Robospanker has three -- merely three -- power settings. You change from one to another by stopping the machine, opening the rear hatch, reaching inside, and moving a bolt to one of three holes/settings. Each setting leads to a different level of stretch on the rubber bungee that powers the RS paddle. Three options. Contrast this with the SOM II, which offers infinite adjustability of stroke power right from the hand control, or from the software on your PC. Instantly. Want the next stroke a little harder or softer? The SOM II is ready for that, immediately. If you're playing alone, you don't have to get up and fiddle with bolts, or even pause your session at all. Infinite power levels or three, the advantage is clear.

Of the new RS, DD Machinery writes: "You control the speed of the spank with a small hand held remote control." As you'll read in the Control topic, this previously optional functionality still falls flat. You can turn the RS on/off, and you can adjust its spanking speed. You cannot manually control strokes from the machine. You cannot adjust the power of strokes from the control. The control functionality of the new RS still doesn't provide any non-periodic automated action, or random spanking. This control is like adjusting the Speed setting on the SOM II hand control when using Auto mode 0 (periodic).

Finally, the most bizarre statement about the new RS is this one: "So powerful now, that we must caution all potential buyers that this machine can cause blisters even when used at the lightest setting." This statement perfectly illustrates the lack of control provided the user by the Robospanker. What if you want a spanking that DOESN'T produce blisters? If we're to believe DD Machinery's claims, the new RS is not for you since it can't be set to a light enough power that blisters won't result. The RS response to this observation? A "padded" paddle to lighten the blow. Nevermind that a paddled paddle doesn't feel the same, and that you still have little control over striking power. It will be interesting to see the padded paddle, if it ever actually shows up on the RS site. Addition as of 4/13/2010: Apparently the padded paddle won't ever show up... as of today, they've removed both the bolded statement and that bit about the padded paddle. Did they make the "soft" setting softer, or will that still cause blisters?

You probably wouldn't by a microwave oven that only cooks for 1, 2, or 3 minutes. Think twice before buying a spanking machine that only adjusts to 4, 6, or 8. The SOM II has a comprehensive, infinite range of power adjustment available, from a powerful wallop to the lightest brushing pat. This flexibility is achieved by controlling a valve to the millisecond, possible only through computer control.

So you've read from the maker of the SOM II how it's superior in pretty much every way to the other spanking machine available, the Robospanker. No huge surprise, I'm sure. Now it's time to follow the link above to the Robospanker site, where you'll read about the ways their machine spanks better than the SOM II. Right? Well, no. Not a single time does Robospanker claim their machine provides a better spanking than the SOM II. That's because it doesn't!

Instead, you will read a mix of accurate (if overblown) and ridiculous attacks on the concept of pneumatics as a spanking power source. Added noise, cost, setup, and maintenance. These are all true, to one degree or another... a compressor is not free, does make at least some noise, requires that it be plugged in to set it up, and should have the tank drained periodically. Bacteria and oil inhalation health risks, utterly unsupported in literature including Robospanker's own references. Misleading mischaracterizations about the contents of an air compressor manual.

It seems you could only conclude that Robospanker agrees that the SOM II beats their machine in every way when it comes to performance, if all they can do is try to shoot blanks at a longstanding and widespread technology. Before you buy in to Robospanker's lies about pneumatics, please take a moment to read the Enlighten link below where I address these points directly.

Robospanker's site advises: "Don't be fooled into thinking you have to have an air compressor to get a good spanking. This simply isn't true." I agree completely, but this statement is a strawman. I never said such a thing, and as far as I know no one else has either. What I have said -- and will continue to say as long as it's true -- is that the SOM II is a much more capable, controllable, and flexible spanking machine than the Robospanker. A harmonica plays about 12 different notes, and a piano plays 88. The piano is a much more capable instrument, but that doesn't mean you can't play a nice tune on a harmonica.

As I'm sure the folks at Robospanker know, solo play is an important use of a spanking machine. Many customers buy a machine to play alone, either because they don't presently have a partner to spank them or because they simply don't want a partner spanking. Even those with partners enjoy the solo features of a spanking machine, since you can "set and forget" the machine while doing other things with/to your partner. From a marketing standpoint, this is a vital category, and I'm sure thought goes into their wording on the topic.

First, what are the capabilities of the Robospanker for solo play? Well, you can certainly use it alone. Turn it on and it will deliver a whap every so often. Optionally, you can add an Intermatic springwound timer like this one (timer at Home Depot) for $30 when you order the RS. It will cut off power to the RS after a set amount of time, up to 15 minutes after it is set. This option, from my Robospanker, is shown below through the rear hatch. A similar capability could easily be added to the SOM II with a discreet timer that doesn't need to be integrated with the machine, such as this digital timer for $20. Plug the timer into the wall and SOM II into the timer, and the machine will operate normally until the timer cuts of power (up to hours later, if you're crazy). As solo play goes, that's not very interesting. The RS table next points out some time delay cuffs on the spanking bench. I can't find any information about this on the RS site, and again it's not a feature of the spanking machine but the separate bench. A bench with such cuffs could -- obviously -- be used with the SOM II as well. With the new RS as of September 18, their machine also apparently comes standard with a speed control knob on the hand control. This is a bit better, but of course you still can't adjust the striking power without stopping, getting up, and doing some work from behind the machine.

Next, what features does the SOM II provide for solo play? They'd like to summarized them with the phrase "hand control." It is true that every feature can be adjusted from the hand control:

- Infinite control over the striking power, without getting up to reach into the guts of the machine and select one of three power levels as with RS. The solo player can instantly adjust the power without even stopping the machine.
- Infinite control over the timing between strokes, which you have on the hand control as a custom option with my RS and I believe only through the rear hatch normally.. that's certainly not convenient to the solo player. Note that in any case it's not the same. The timing setting on my SOM II is numbered and adjusts between known values (which depend on the selected automatic mode), while even the custom RS knob on mine is unlabeled and relates only generally as faster and slower.
- Selection of a variety of automatic modes, or you can deliver the strikes manually by hitting a button for each one.

Unlike the RS, with the SOM II you can actually let the machine take control over the spanking, leaving you guessing what comes next... the computer can change the timing of the strokes ,the power of the strokes, or both. You can have it deliver individual strokes or bursts of them, or intersperse bursts with regular stroking in an unpredictable random manner. While it's true that "hand control" might include all of this rich functionality, it's not a very realistic comparison. In point of fact, the SOM II has vastly more functionality for solo play, and was built in large part to meet those needs. It also seems worth noting that the SOM II hand control is well-made, professional in appearance, and clearly labelled. You can judge for yourself how if compares to the RS control, from my own model.

As I noted, I traded a customer a SOM II for his Robospanker to help him out, and to check out the competition in more detail. This gentleman couldn't move his customized 2006 Robospanker upstairs due to its size and weight, and was quite interested in the rich feature set of the SOM II. That's how I ended up with a RS, brand new in its original box.. right down to the original invoice for $1059. As I understand it, this machine was customized with a bigger motor, faster stroking, 20' hand control, timer, and somewhat adjustable legs.

It arrived extremely well-packed in a quite sizable box. The original label listed it for 70 pounds, but the second shipment by the UPS Store noted a weight of 92 pounds... UPS upcharges over 70 pounds, so I suspect that was an attempt to avoid some shipping charges in the original transit. It took a while and made a mess, but I finally had the Robospanker unpacked. The legs bolt on, so I retrieved the necessary tools and tightenned them down. Luckily, a friend was handy to help me flip the machine right-side up, as it is both large and heavy.

Reviewing the manual and the machine itself, the operation of the machine was simple. Adjusting the spanking power involves moving a bolt from hole to hole inside the machine, through an access hatch in the back. This applies more of less tension to a rubber bungee cord. The three power settings provide little adjustability, and it is inconvenient to change the unit's power. The timer is also available through this hatch. In my version of the RS, the hand control is permanently attached to the machine and its cord is sheathed in some heavy vinyl tubing. The hand control is very basic and unadorned... there's no labeling for the knob positions, and the knob itself seems to point randomly. Turn the knob and the machine goes faster or slower. This remote speed feature is was not shown in the manual or on the current website, and neither is a picture of the current control, so I'm not sure what they offer as standard now. The manual identifies a slide adjuster inside the unit to control speed, which would be impossible to access while using the machine alone. In addition to the hand control's switch, there's a timer switch that changes operation to the hand control or timer. Three paddles were included, made from a black plastic 1/4" thick.

Naturally, it was time for some testing... subject = girlfriend ;). Adjusting the height of the machine is painful and best done as a two-person job. One person holds up one end of the machine while the other removes a pair of bolts. You can then slide the leg to another of the several positions, and reapply the bolts before moving to the other end. It was simpler to have her stand on a phonebook. I attached one of the paddles, plugged the machine in, and reached underneath to connect the bungee to the "low" setting.

The control system is OK. I was able to start and stop the machine from the hand control and adjust it's smacking speed. After a little adjustment and adaptation, everything lined up just fine and the machine worked OK. It was quiet, but not very effective. The RS suffers from the same problem I encountered... a single layer of 1/4" thick flexible plastic for a paddle is too weak and floppy. It whips around unpredictably in use, delivering inconsistent swatting. This problem is compounded at higher speeds, where the rapid strike/withdraw cycle gets in its own way. I suspect the machine would be greatly improved with a thicker paddle, such as the 3/8" Lexan I selected for the SOM II. This problem was reduced somewhat by attaching two paddles to support each other, but the abrupt retraction and striking motions made these paddles whack into each other adding a good deal of noise to the play.

Overall, my personal feelings are that the Robospanker suffers serious design/operational issues. It's too large and heavy to move around much, unless you've got two people to do it. There is very little adjustability in the striking power, and as noted making this adjustment is a chore. The "low" setting was about right for my test subject to start (she's a wimp ;), but would be the only setting she could use. The floppy paddle delivers an inferior user experience... in fact, much of the machine's design isn't very user friendly.

Having looked this machine over and done what testing I'd like to do, it is for sale. Robospanker with the options listed above, two paddles, in very near new condition. There is one dent/ding in the hardboard side of the machine from one of the shipments it's had so far. I'll sell it for $400 plus the actual shipping cost.

Of course, I'm quite biased. I can't help it... but I did design the SOM II to meet the needs I see in the spanking machine area. I believe it addresses most of the issues I found in the Robospanker. Here's what you might experience, based on many sessions with the SOM II.

I usually pack my SOM II in a hard-sided golf bag, wrapped in a blanket to protect the parts from banging into each other. It's easy to roll or carry about, as the whole thing weighs in at about 40 pounds including the case. There's also the compressor, which is very easy to carry around. Pulling out the parts and assembling the machine takes about 3 minutes.... if I leave it assembled, it's still easy to move around and takes no time to assemble. Two pieces plug into the wall -- the compressor and SOM II head -- and an air line off the head plugs into the compressor. Finally, the hand control plugs easily into the head unit.

The SOM II paddles or cane unit attach quite similarly to the Robospanker... two 1/4" bolts hold the implement to the striking arm. Based on the position I'll be using, I can precisely adjust the height of the head unit with hand knobs to exactly what I want. Then, the 1/4" hex key lets me angle and swing the paddle to any orientation required. You can literally position this machine any way you need it, without constraint on angle or height... no preset positions and so forth.

In use, the SOM II is a joy. Every option is available at your fingertips. You can switch seamlessly from light to hard, fast to slow, or change from manual to your choice of automatic modes and back again. You can instantly stop the machine at any time, start it up again... you have total control from the well-labelled hand unit. I generally start a session using rather low pressure out of the compressor, perhaps 30 PSI (roughly between the "light" and "medium" settings on the RS). This provides very fine control over the power through the hand unit. I might then bump the pressure (and therefore power) substantially, but a session will typically have none or one adjustment at the compressor. Of course, the SOM II is just as quick and easy to reposition. Move to any desired location or position during a session and quickly adapt the machine to the proper setup.

At the end of a session, the SOM II packs neatly away into the golf bag again, or could be disassembled a bit and hidden under a bed or in a closet. If I'll be using it again before long, I might carry it to the closet and leave it fully assembled. Having the machine break down is highly convenient for movement, storage, and so forth. The heaviest part of a complete setup is the compressor, so anyone can move the unit around. I also have a stand-alone 10 gallon air tank that I can fill for later use anywhere.

My girlfriend and I have a RS but its annoying and hard to hide when company comes over. She saw your invention and won't shut up about it. Looks like I'll wind up buying one, her birthday is at the end of sept. [...] The other problem with the RS if anyone asks is that the rubber tension thing keeps breaking and you need to order them over and over from DD. For as much as that device was he should either warranty those things or just send them without charging us 12 bucks plus shipping. They break after about a month of just sitting and maybe every other weekend use of 20-30 swats.

There is another annoying part of the RS, after the swat the whole machine sways back and forth because of its weird steel legs with no center support which makes it loud if you live in apt with people downstairs. They asked once if I had bought a home gym and if I could please make sure to let the weights down easier cause they hear me drop them. haha.