FAQ & Answers Organized by Topic
I receive many different questions about these machines. Are they for real? Do they really work? Which machine is best for me? This Frequently Asked Questions collection addresses many of the most common. If you don't see your question answered, please don't hesitate to email or call. (By the way, yes they are for real ;)
How do I order from Orgasm Alley?
You can place your order online, through the mail, or over the phone. If you'd like to discuss your needs, email is the most effective way to ask questions and receive advice. You're also welcome to call me at 888.380.8840 as described on the Contact page.
Is online ordering from Orgasm Alley safe?
Absolutely! I'm not a computer security guru, and don't pretend to be. Orgasm Alley uses a third party shopping cart hosted on servers continually maintained to the highest available security standards. Actual credit card entry is performed through a gateway of equally high security. No information is ever maintained in or transmitted through an accessible environment.
What forms of payment do you take?
Orgasm Alley accepts American Express, Discover, MasterCard, Visa, cashiers check, money order, personal/business check (10 day hold) and wire transfer. More detail about these payment methods is available on the Ordering page.
As owner eBay has instituted a policy banning adult-related transactions through their PayPal system, Orgasm Alley cannot accept this form of payment. If you prefer an online payment system, I do recommend and accept USPS Send Money, although this system may only be used by customers in the US.
Can I pay part now and part later?
I work on a paid-in-full-upfront basis. Credit card payments are authorized at time of order, and charged 1-2 days prior to shipment. For all other forms of payment, I do require money in hand to log your order to the work board.
How long after I pay will you ship my order?
My lead time depends on current backlog and life more generally (I'm a family man, after all!). Lead time is typically 10 to 14 days from receipt of payment to outbound shipment. Fucking Chairs and some custom work will have a longer lead time. I provide a current estimate with each email quote, if it differs from that standard.
Do I need to pay sales tax?
Only if your ship-to address is in Texas. If so, I do need to collect 8.25% of merchandise total for the state tax man. Residents of other states are not required to pay sales tax under current law. International customers may be required to pay taxes and/or duties based on the laws of your country of residence. These charges are the customer's responsibility upon receipt of the unit.
How do I know you won't just take my money and never deliver?
Simply put, my businesses are both my livelihood and my passion. Handcrafting fine sex equipment is my full time occupation, not just extra income on the side. I fully intend to enjoy this business for many years to come, and the one sure way to crush that future is to screw people over. In the Internet era, one person doesn't just tell 10 about their bad experience... they can tell hundreds of thousands!
The bottom line, though, is that I'm an extremely honest and honorable person. I stand by my work and honor my commitments. If you purchase something from Orgasm Alley, you'll get it and it will be as promised. Period.
Do you sell wholesale? Will you resell my product?
I do sell wholesale, but very selectively and with less discounting than you may expect. Feel free to contact me via email for more information. I would appreciate it if you could outline the nature and location(s) of your business, provide any relevant URLs, and tell me a bit about your business and partnership philosophies. I'll just ask anyway ;)
I do not resell other folks' products. First and foremost, I am a designer and craftsman.
How do you ship your machines?
Orgasm Alley ships via UPS Ground in the United States, UPS Standard to Canada, and USPS Global Express Mail to all other International destinations. The exception is Fucking Chairs, which are crated and shipped common carrier. In all cases, shipments are insured for full value and required a signature upon delivery. Expedited shipping is available upon request via email.
Do you ship Internationally?
Yes. Canada and almost anywhere the USPS goes... about 150 countries worldwide. Orgasm Alley does reserve the right to refuse an order based on required shipment to select countries. That includes Nigeria, so please stop emailing me that your Prince Regent Head Honcho has died leaving millions for the purchase of sex machines ;). Note that select machines require fairly large packaging to arrive in good form. Postal size restrictions continuously change and may require an upgrade from my standard service (Global Express) at an additional cost. I will contact you directly if your International shipment cannot be shipped for the amount determined by the shopping cart to discuss options.
How much does shipping cost?
Shipping charge varies by destination and the model you're purchasing. Continental US charges are noted at the bottom of each model's page. International shipping is estimated by the shopping cart, and I'll refund the difference if this amount is significantly over actual costs. I'm not looking to make a profit on shipping.
If someone sees the box, will they know what's inside?
No way! You will receive a brown box with no indication of contents. The return address is my name and address. Packages exported from the US do require a declaration of contents. Orgasm Alley machines are accurately described as "linear drivers."
How many days will it take to get here once you ship it?
UPS Ground is normally a 1 to 5 day service. Most of Texas is supposed to be one day delivery but can take two. The farther from Texas you are, the closer to 5 days your delivery time will be. UPS provides tracking capabilities, and an accurate delivery date is available the day after I ship your package.
UPS Standard to Canada is a 4-10 day service, depending on your proximity to a UPS hub city. Tracking capability is also provided on shipments to Canada.
USPS Global Express Mail, used for International deliveries, is normally a 3-5 day service. Like most USPS delivery estimates, that's optimistic by a couple days in my experience. Among other issues, in-country carriers have been known to cause additional delays. Global Express Mail service does not have real tracking capabilities. It has been extremely reliable, however.
Can OA machines run on International (220/240 VAC) current?
With the exception of the Hole Saw, all sex machines from Orgasm Alley can be ordered for 220/240 VAC operation at no additional charge. Use the "Local Power" drop-down box in the model's order section to make this selection. Machines configured for International power ship with a US standard three prong (grounded) power cord. Very few International plugs or adapters are available to me.
The Hole Saw kit is not available for International current. This unit will work on 220/240 VAC power with an appropriate step-down voltage converter rated for at least 600 watts. In portions of Japan with 100 VAC power grid, all machines configured for 110/120 VAC operation will run normally.
How much do OA machines weigh?
The answer to this question varies with model, and slightly with individual unit. The Vital Statistics section for each machine model includes a typical weight range.
What accessories come standard with OA machines?
Both standard and optional accessories vary by model, and are listed on the model-specific pages.
What kind of dildos can I use with my sex machine?
Please review the Dildo Pop-Up, which is also available in the Order section of each model's page.
Can I buy a dildo with my OA purchase?
Unfortunately, no. My local law prohibits the sale of artificial genitalia, so I am unable to sell dildos. The banner below leads to SexToy Warehouse, a fairly comprehensive Internet sex store with a good selection of dildos (including Vac-u-loc) and excellent prices. Crummy site layout, good service. Highly recommended.
Some folks have had trouble loading the banner, and asked for a text link: Sex Toy Warehouse. Other have noted that the menu is somewhat confusing. For VUL dildos, select: Realistic Dongs // Strap on Cocks.
Extreme Restraints also has a wide selection of dildos, tending to lean towards higher end products. Several diferent VUL dildos available, lots of other equipment too. These folks do ship Internationally, which is not true of Sex Toy Warehouse.
In the UK, the best Internet supplier I've found is Sex Toys UK. Unfortunately, I have not found a UK site that rivals Sex Toy Warehouse when it comes to selection of VUL dildos.
Can I buy a Fleshlight with my OA MANjack purchase?
Again, no. Fake pussies are apparently just as dangerous as fake dicks here in Texas. The banner below leads to Extreme Restraints, a fine Internet sex store that stocks the Fleshlight for immediate shipment. As noted above, they also have VUL and standard dildos, and a wide selection of bondage and other alternative sexuality equipment.
How much noise do your machines make?
Not much, but this is a difficult question to answer in more detail. Noise level depends on motor power, running speed, stroke length setting, and specific model. The customers that have commented to me about noise have been pleasantly surprised by how quiet their units are. I've seen crazy comparisons to all sorts of things. Ceiling fans... well, my ceiling fans are silent. No one will hear your machine through a wall or closed interior door, and you'll make more noise than the machine!
Where can I see your machines in action?
Orgasm Alley is a porn-free zone. Several companies have purchased my machines for use in videos, but the ultimate is FUckingmachines.com. This monster site has the largest pic and video library on the net by far. Another worth strong consideration is CumBots. Their ever-growing collection of Orgasm Alley machines, innovative shoots, and hot babes make them a great fucking machine site. Please see the Links page for additional sites.
What motors does Orgasm Alley use? How much power do they have?
All OA machines (except the Hole Saw obviously) use industrial gearmotors by Baldor Electric. These motors are very durable and intended to run for long periods of time in even harsh conditions. All motors are rated for continuous duty... they won't overheat and don't need a rest after an hour or two. They are maintenance free, powerful, and very quiet. In motors, as with most things, you get what you pay for!
The power required for a fucking machine depends on several factors. Longer stroke, faster speed, larger dildo, and tighter holes all demand more power. Additional information is available about Horsepower and Torque in general, and the specific motors used on OA machines, on the individual model pages.
What are the minimum and maximum stroking speeds of OA machines?
Speed is another thing I can customize if you'd like. A fairly wide-ranging survey of customers, guests, and other folks interested in machine fucking has led me to conclude that the most popular speeds for mechsex are about 160 strokes per minute (SPM) vaginally and 140 SPM anally. Most people definitely enjoy somewhat higher speed for short periods, and some for sustained periods. Many note enjoying extremely slow speeds as well, particularly for male masturbation with the MANjack adapter and Fleshlight male pleasure sheath.
Based on these findings, most of my machines deliver top speeds of 170 to 250 strokes per minute depending on model (and listed on the model pages). I use quality speed controls which intelligently adjust supplied power at lower speeds, and OA machines provide useful power at settings as low as 5 strokes per minute.
Definitely do not underestimate the importance of a high quality, powerful motor to your sex machine experience!
How is the stroke speed adjusted? How is the stroke length adjusted?
Orgasm Alley machines come with a corded speed control, detachable for convenient storage and transportation. The attractive, compact hand box provides continuously variable control over stroking speed, and an on/off switch to start and stop the unit at any time. Speed is fully adjustable while the machine is running. The 10 foot cord provides plenty of reach for solo play. The control attaches to the unit with a durable XLR (professional microphone) jack and plug.
Stroke length adjustment may be performed only while the machine is stopped, and is completed by moving a thumbscrew connector from one offset threaded hole to another. Adjustment may be completed in 10 seconds or less, and no tools are required on any models. My enclosed machines are always designed with easy access to the required adjustment area.
The Hole Saw is an exception to all of the above. The stroke length is a fixed 1-3/16". Speed control is via an adjustment wheel located on the handle, and on/off control is provided using a trigger.
How long can I expect my machine from Orgasm Alley to last?
Orgasm Alley machines are well designed, and carefully crafted of the finest available materials. I expect each machine to last beyond the initial owner's lifetime.
Why does OA offer so many different machines?
People vary significantly in what they want out of their machine, how they want to use it, and other meaningful decision criteria... portability, stored size, aesthetics, etc. I don't believe there is a single machine that's best for everyone, since every design is inherently a compromise between these many factors, although it would certainly be convenient for me if I offered a more narrow range.
OA offers a wide range of models to better meet your individual needs and requirements. I believe nearly everyone will find their ideal machine among those I provide.
How do I decide which model is best for me?
Throughout this site, I've tried to provide as much information about each model as possible to assist in your decision. Several direct comparison methods are presented on the heavily expanded Orgasm Alley Comparison Guide.
If you're still not sure, I'm happy to help. Email me as much information as you can describing how you'd like to use your machine, and I'll reply with my own thoughts to assist you.
How do I decide what stroke length I will want?
This is a very important decision factor, and worth some discussion. The stroking capability of your machine is one major factor in its ability to satisfy! (Stroking speed and positioning capabilities are the others.)
First, you should understand how your machine will be used, and the physical capabilities of those using it. Will your machine be used vaginally, anally? For machine jacking?
Next, understand the relationship between stroke length and penetration. They aren't the same! The stroke length is how far in and out the dildo moves with each stroke. Penetration is a measure of insertion depth. You'll want penetration of at least 1" more than stroke length... that way, the tip of the dildo remains "in" to maintain alignment with the target hole. You can get more pentration than this -- by moving the machine closer to the target -- without changing stroke length, although you give up potential stimulation from extra movement.
Based on my experience and collected information, here are some penetration guidelines. Most women report ideal penetration during vaginal use of 4-1/2" to 6-1/2", with relatively few reporting much more than this depth. Anal play varies much more significantly for both men and women... anal play can be much deeper because of the way the body is built. Up to 12" and even more, depending on the user's experience level! Male masturbation with MANjack/Fleshlight seems most popular between 3" and 5" of stroke.
One important observation is that people have different tastes! That's why OA machines provide a range of stroke options, and the overall collection of machines provide a number of different configurations. Start by determining the longest stroke length you're likely to want throughout the machine's (your) lifetime... you can always use a machine at a stroke length shorter than it's maximum, but never in excess of that value! That's why I build with shorter stroke lengths at least every 1".
I want a cheap machine. Can you help me?
I do occasionally get used machines -- mine or others' -- in trade, and these often go straight to a waiting list. Please email me to be added, if that's your preference. Otherwise, you should read The Cost Equation before settling for a low cost sex machine. The lower cost components that go into cheap machines deliver a huge performance drop, in terms of power, speed, stroke option, and flexibility. The "Love Machine", a mass produced import from China, is particualrly guilty in this department.
That said, if your budget demands an inexpensive model, you'll be hard pressed to do better than the selection at Extreme Restraints. Their selection of machines runs the gamut, from the cheap import to several of my own models, and they are reputable and excellent to do business with. Note that "powerful 4.5 amp motor" in several of their descriptions is 4.5 amps at 8 or 12 volts, and translates to around 1/30th horsepower.
Can you build a machine like [insert name of other maker's machine here]?
The answer is almost certainly yes, although there are a couple of things I won't do because they're pointless, flawed, or unsafe. Just send me an email describing what you're interested in. I'm always happy to do things never done before, too.
Find more fine handcrafted sex equipment at these other Orgasm Alley special interest sites: All contents are copyright ©Orgasm Alley, 2004-2009 or used with owner's permission, and may not be used without permission.
Spank-O-Matic: The Ultimate Spanking Machine
Ballz: The Precision Stainless Steel Dildo System
The purchase of items from Orgasm Alley indicates agreement that the owner of said items is solely responsible for the safe use thereof.
All contents are copyright ©Orgasm Alley, 2004-2009 or used with owner's permission, and may not be used without permission.